"Cause all of me, loves all of you. Love your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections. Give your all to me, I'll give my all to you. You're my end and my beginning even when I lose, I'm winning. Cause I give you all of me and you give me all of you."

If I had to go back and redo anything, I wouldn't. You and I are literally perfect for each other. I love how the only thing I dislike about you is the fact that you don't like seafood. And if that's the only thing I can find wrong about you, then you're already a keeper. I know at the end of the day, if I need anyone to talk to, I know you'll be the first to listen to me. I love how I can be myself around you and you'll accept me. You and I could probably sit in an empty room and still have fun. I love how you just make me a better person. You've taught me how to love life, and to love myself. Before I met you, I wasn't sure if I could ever find someone that I could connect with.. I literally gave up. I know I'm only 20 and I have the rest of my life to figure things out for me, but there's no one else I want to spend my life with. We still have so many firsts to experience together. I want to be next to you for the rest of my life. I will never give up on this relationship. I want to learn new things with you. There's nothing that will ever get in the way of us. This is for life, this is for eternity, I rather die knowing I tried to make this work, than to just give up on it. I'm ready to be the person who makes you better, the person that you grow old with. We're in this together baby, forever.

Losing my Car

                Oh boy, it has been a little while since I've been on this site, I haven't blogged in a really long time. Let's just say a lot has happened since December 15, 2011. Last night I had a dream that I couldn't find my car, it was just a weird dream all together and so I woke up and literally googled it right away because, I knew it had to be isome type of message. The first thing I see, "to dream of lost car means one has lost one's way in life." I think I might've freaked out a little only because, I really have been questioning what my life is. What do I have to offer to the world? Am I losing sight as to who I am? I need to figure some things out. I know I have time, but sometimes it's just scary to think because time really is flying by and I just want to know what it is in life that I'm actually mean to do.


It's a little weird to think at the age of 20, I moved out, I'm in a serious relationship, I'm working almost full time hours, paying bills and everything that a "grown up" has to do. I remember being in such a hurry to grow up. I wanted to do everything that I wasn't ready to do, but I have no choice but to be ready. There's no stop button, we can't just freeze everything. It's not high school where we can ask the teacher to give us a few more days. We don't have anything handed to us, we have to literally work our asses off and even if one thing is not right, that's it for that one opportunity. There's no proof reading, no second chances, if that's it, then that's that.


 It's scary trying to write this blog because it's been about two years and I'm so lost, not knowing what to write. There's almost too much to write. I haven't been stuck with words in a long time but I'm sitting here not sure what to write that I'm literally typing what I want to write, but I can't think of the words. It's hard to just sit and type everything that has happened in the last couple years because so much has changed.


In high school I was that outgoing girl who was literally friends with everyone. I didn't judge, I loved getting to know people for who they were and who they wanted to be. I was always a big supporter when it came to my friends, unless I was trying to look out for them and tell them I wasn't going to be a part of what they wanted. I mean I wasn't the boss of them but I wanted what was best for the people I care about you know? It's just  crazy to think that I don't have many friends that I could just call up and hang out with like it was nothing. I remember having friends in high school that I told I would be friends with them for a long time even after high school ended, I wanted them to be in my wedding to be there for me and to just be in my life in general. I remember telling people that I would be famous and I wasn't going to forget them. And I sit here and type this blog, I'm sitting next to my one and only best friends, my lover, my everything, and it's someone I never knew back then. It's someone who I had to build a relationship with, someone who I had to build a home with. Back in high school you were stuck with 30 people in each class and that's 6 classes a day. You were forced to sit there and make friends because you were stuck with them for the next four years. Who really knows if the person that you'd be sitting by would be the person you marry, the person you'd end up being best friends with or someone you just sat next to for a full two hours and after high school you'd never see them ever again.
High school is literally just a stepping stone in life that's one of the best times of your life, but something I wouldn't ever want to go back to. The only thing I regret is getting a C on that test in English class, that D in math, and almost failing government because now that I'm in the "real world", I honestly wish  that life was as easy as high school, things were handed to you so easily. Unlike the real world, you can't just say the wrong thing in an interview and just come back the next day and try to say something else.

Franklyn J. Cervantez

I've always been the girl to want to be in a serious relationship. When I was in middle school, I had those boyfriends where you would just call the boys your boyfriend, but never even do anything. You'd just hug them and go on with your day. In high school, I was friend zoned way too much, but honestly I'm glad things worked out the way it did, because now that I'm with the love of my life I can't complain. I love that I have someone that feels for me as much as I feel for him. I would've never though that I would be with my soul mate at the age of twenty, but honestly, it's the best feeling ever. I may be too young in society's eyes, but as long as me and Franklyn work on this relationship together, for the benefit of only us, then we are set. Love is such a beautiful thing. It's beautiful when two people can just sit there and be happy with one another, even if it was just sitting in a room and not saying a word, just being able to look each other in the eyes and know that you guys are perfect for each other. Being able to feel vulnerable with another human being has got to be the scariest thing, but most comforting thing at the same time and it's indescribable. 

I need to start blogging more, If you've read this whole thing, thank you so much. I hope that I didn't bore you. 

Hanging out in the Intern office

Hanging out with a couple other interns Christopher S. and Michael R.! We were just chatting a little about what we liked about our semester and some things that kind of made us go crazy! Check it out. :)

Surprisingly not surprising

Behind the scene in the 107.9 studios today with Christopher K! As you can see, he's doing one of the breaks and I (try to) surprise him with trick candles, but he knew before he even blew the candles out, but it's the thought that counts right? I've had a fun time with him and today was the last day of the semester in the studio! No worries, I'm staying for one more semester, but just solely for promotions. I've had a good fall semester! 

Self worth, school and pity.

Lately I've been drowning my thoughts into what I should be doing for the "rest of my life", but what in the world is an eighteen year old doing thinking about her life long career. I'm not saying I shouldn't get a head start, or totally not think about possibilities, but I hate the fact that people expect me to know what I want to do exactly, FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

I want to explore. I want to see what's out there. I may sound dumb, but I feel like going to school for one main thing would just be horrible for me. I want to take all different kinds of classes.

I dread the math! The English, not so much, but I just graduated from
High school doing all the general shit why do I have to do it again?

I sound more ignorant as this blog is going, but in all honesty that's my opinion.

Lately I just haven't felt good enough for anything, for anyone. It's a bad feeling and I hope it goes away soon. I just wanna be good enough and worth it. I want to make you all believe in me, because I really think I can do this. I think one day it will all be worth.

I just think that keeping positive thoughts will help me in the long run. I know some days I will not feel good enough, but in the end, I know someone out there will think otherwise.

Jingle Ball 2011

To start off the last month of the year with Jingle Ball couldn't have been any better!

Being at the arena when no one was there yet, was probably one of the coolest things ever. And you don't even realize how big the place is until all the people are seated in their spots.

I missed Jojo's and Breathe Carolina's performance, but I caught some of Cobra Starship's.

My night was made because I got to work with everyone on one day and of course I got to watch Gym Class Heroes performance. It was seriously the best thing I've ever experienced it was AMAZING. The way that Travje connected with the audience is the way every artist should. And that's the truth.

Being part of the staff was such an honor and I loved seeing everything. from a different perspective and not just going to the concert. It felt awesome that this was OUR show, not just some concert we have to stand outside of for 3 hours. It was a really good experience and I'm so thankful for this internship.

Thankful to be breathing and healthy

And of course the year has flown by and the time of year where we give thanks for the ones we love and the things that we feel blessed about. Shouldn't we feel grateful for all that we have every day in life? I have so much, but sometimes I do feel like I almost forget to thank the people I love for being there for me, I swear I'm not taking them for granted, but sometimes, I feel like that my life is just so, "go, go, go" that I never get time to sit and think about how much I have.

First and foremost, I am proud to say that I have the best family in the world. Throughout my life, like anyone else, I have been through ups and downs, but through it all, my family has always been by my side. We may have some pretty f'd up situations, but we definitely have more happy memories, than bad. So, I'd like to thank my family for always being with me and supporting me with what I do. Whenever I'm down all they do is shower me with love and words can never explain how much I need them in my life. I am so grateful for each and every one of my family members.

My brother, James Baja, has always known every little aspect of my life, and sometimes it may be a good thing and sometimes it can be bad, but in the end me and him are truly best friends. I know some things can get shaky, but it's only because we love each other and wants what's best for one another. He can never fail to make me smile, even when we're super mad at each other, he can always make me laugh. I love my brother so much and I don't think I can love anyone else as much as I love that kid. He's an amazing person and I know sometimes he can be a complete ASS, but I know it's just cause he loves me.

My parents have always been there for me. Especially my Mother, being a single parent is not easy. I can see it in her eyes when she is very frustrated and sometimes I can't even control that for her. But, I know that she loves me and my brother a lot, she sacrifices so much for us and I can never thank her enough each day for all that she's done. My dad has been gone a lot for work, for most of our lives, but my father will always be the one and only, I love my parents so much and I'm thankful that they even got together in the first place. And even though I will forever think that my mom and dad were perfect for each other, things almost never happens exactly the way we want it too, but that's okay too. KB, my mom's boyfriend is someone who I am also thankful for, he helps us with a lot of what's going on here at home. Without him, my mom would be a stressed out wreck, but thankfully he has a lot to offer for this family and I am grateful.

To all my cousins, April (You too, ALI!) , Karl, Rizza Mae, Ian, Sara, Myra and everyone: I love you guys all so much and I can never thank you enough. You guys are always here for me whenever I need you and it's always so amazing to have you guys as advice givers because without you guys, I wouldn't be who I am today.

One thing that I've recently been greatly blessed with is my internship at Entercom, it's funny how something that I never would've IMAGINED doing is something that I love doing now. I've learned so much and met some pretty amazing people. There's no exact words besides amazingly unbelievable that can explain my experience. (This subject shall have it's own post later on, after the semester.)

FRIENDS:

Anna Cunanan, we've been friends since 5th grade, well, actually, we've been best friends since middle school and it's crazy how far we've come. She and I have literally been through EVERYTHING. To this day, I will forever be mad at her for making me take a nap with her at her house, because now I feel like I have to  sleep during the day even if it's just for 30 minutes. But anyways, she has seriously been the best friend ever. We may not talk every day, but even if we haven't talked in ages, we still talk like just yesterday we were hanging out. I just want to say that, no matter what me and her will always be friends. Because, she's pretty much family to me.

Anthony Rizzo, he's someone that I can go to for anything. My problems, good news, ANYTHING. He and I are pretty much opposite, but still, we manage to talk to each other and see how each other is doing. He's my best friend away from my friends. This long distance thing sucks, but it's the friendship that means a lot to me. I just care about him a lot, and I wish he knew that. Well, here it is.

Yanna Brown, I love you. Always have, always will.

There's just so many people I want to thank, but I feel like that would take days and days!

I am thankful to be alive. I am thankful for all the things I get to do with my life. I want to thank anyone who has read this whole blog post. And I want to thank anyone and everyone who has been there for me for a long time and who still continue to shower their love for me. Thank you!

Till the next post, loves.

XOXO,
Erica Baja