Losing my Car

                Oh boy, it has been a little while since I've been on this site, I haven't blogged in a really long time. Let's just say a lot has happened since December 15, 2011. Last night I had a dream that I couldn't find my car, it was just a weird dream all together and so I woke up and literally googled it right away because, I knew it had to be isome type of message. The first thing I see, "to dream of lost car means one has lost one's way in life." I think I might've freaked out a little only because, I really have been questioning what my life is. What do I have to offer to the world? Am I losing sight as to who I am? I need to figure some things out. I know I have time, but sometimes it's just scary to think because time really is flying by and I just want to know what it is in life that I'm actually mean to do.


It's a little weird to think at the age of 20, I moved out, I'm in a serious relationship, I'm working almost full time hours, paying bills and everything that a "grown up" has to do. I remember being in such a hurry to grow up. I wanted to do everything that I wasn't ready to do, but I have no choice but to be ready. There's no stop button, we can't just freeze everything. It's not high school where we can ask the teacher to give us a few more days. We don't have anything handed to us, we have to literally work our asses off and even if one thing is not right, that's it for that one opportunity. There's no proof reading, no second chances, if that's it, then that's that.


 It's scary trying to write this blog because it's been about two years and I'm so lost, not knowing what to write. There's almost too much to write. I haven't been stuck with words in a long time but I'm sitting here not sure what to write that I'm literally typing what I want to write, but I can't think of the words. It's hard to just sit and type everything that has happened in the last couple years because so much has changed.


In high school I was that outgoing girl who was literally friends with everyone. I didn't judge, I loved getting to know people for who they were and who they wanted to be. I was always a big supporter when it came to my friends, unless I was trying to look out for them and tell them I wasn't going to be a part of what they wanted. I mean I wasn't the boss of them but I wanted what was best for the people I care about you know? It's just  crazy to think that I don't have many friends that I could just call up and hang out with like it was nothing. I remember having friends in high school that I told I would be friends with them for a long time even after high school ended, I wanted them to be in my wedding to be there for me and to just be in my life in general. I remember telling people that I would be famous and I wasn't going to forget them. And I sit here and type this blog, I'm sitting next to my one and only best friends, my lover, my everything, and it's someone I never knew back then. It's someone who I had to build a relationship with, someone who I had to build a home with. Back in high school you were stuck with 30 people in each class and that's 6 classes a day. You were forced to sit there and make friends because you were stuck with them for the next four years. Who really knows if the person that you'd be sitting by would be the person you marry, the person you'd end up being best friends with or someone you just sat next to for a full two hours and after high school you'd never see them ever again.
High school is literally just a stepping stone in life that's one of the best times of your life, but something I wouldn't ever want to go back to. The only thing I regret is getting a C on that test in English class, that D in math, and almost failing government because now that I'm in the "real world", I honestly wish  that life was as easy as high school, things were handed to you so easily. Unlike the real world, you can't just say the wrong thing in an interview and just come back the next day and try to say something else.

Franklyn J. Cervantez

I've always been the girl to want to be in a serious relationship. When I was in middle school, I had those boyfriends where you would just call the boys your boyfriend, but never even do anything. You'd just hug them and go on with your day. In high school, I was friend zoned way too much, but honestly I'm glad things worked out the way it did, because now that I'm with the love of my life I can't complain. I love that I have someone that feels for me as much as I feel for him. I would've never though that I would be with my soul mate at the age of twenty, but honestly, it's the best feeling ever. I may be too young in society's eyes, but as long as me and Franklyn work on this relationship together, for the benefit of only us, then we are set. Love is such a beautiful thing. It's beautiful when two people can just sit there and be happy with one another, even if it was just sitting in a room and not saying a word, just being able to look each other in the eyes and know that you guys are perfect for each other. Being able to feel vulnerable with another human being has got to be the scariest thing, but most comforting thing at the same time and it's indescribable. 

I need to start blogging more, If you've read this whole thing, thank you so much. I hope that I didn't bore you.